Revan Journals 3

Entry 7: The Darkness- A Poem by the Jedi Revan
Over a month have I been in this place
This place of darkness and no grace
With memories that flood my mind
Will I ever escape in time

Malachor V should only exist in nightmares
Why did I order these terrors?
Why did I construct such a weapon?

Nothing can fill this void
My love's life has been destroyed
I'll never hold Juhani again
And now my darkness will never come to an end

I was a fool to think simply stopping Malak would end my troubles
I was a fool to think that through this one act I could be redeemed
I deserve this prison of darkness and thorns
I deserve to be here on Malachor

No, this isn't an excuse to do nothing...
Juhani deserves justice, and I think I should at least get a second
I cannot undo what I have done
But I won't let the Republic be reduced to none!

Trayus Academy 2mo ABSF
As Revan sits in her room, A young pureblood approaches her quarters with a data pad in her right hand. Looking back and forth she enters the room and approaches Revan and looks Revan up and down.
Finally, the pureblood speaks, "Hmmm... For a Sith you *feel* weird through the force. Are you sick or something?"
Revan replies, a bit surprised, "Huh?"
The pureblood continues, "If you're sick, I have some aspirin in my quarters if you want them."
Revan laughed and replied, "Oh, I'm not sick. I probably feel weird to you because I'm not a Sith; at least not anymore..."
The pureblood was shocked. How can someone not be a Sith Lord anymore? she thought to herself.
Revan answered the unasked question,  "I am a Jedi Knight who fell to the dark side and then returned to the light."
The pureblood jumped for joy, "You're a Jedi Knight?! Cool! I've always wanted to meet one."
Revan looked surprised, "You're a Sith... who's always wanted to meet a Jedi?"
The pureblood nodded, "Well, yeah, I figure I might as well meet one  and figure out why I'm supposed to hate Jedi and want to destroy them"
Revan replied, "I see. What have you discovered?"
" Well I see no reason why I should kill you."
Revan breathed a sigh of relief, "Well, that's good... Why?"
The pureblood explained, "I can understand why Sith that lived centuries ago hated Republic and the Jedi since they were the army that caused a near genocide on Korriban and drove the Sith from their home when they weren't a threat... but I'm not them and they're not me.  What do I have to do with something that happened to Sith almost a millennia ago? Nothing! Hence why I decided to find a Jedi get to know them, and see if there are any contemporary reasons for why I want to destroy them."
Revan smiled and replied, "Well, I'm glad you found none."
The pureblood nodded. "I'm glad as well. However, my curiosity isn't satisfied. For one thing, how come you aren't charging at me with a lightsaber?"
Revan replied, "First, my lightsaber got taken away from me. Second, a  Jedi desires peace and tries to avoid confrontation if they can help it."
"Really? The Sith's way is almost lightsabre first, talk later. Fascinating... Then that explains why you didn't use force lightening on me then."
Revan replied, "That's because Jedi don't use the force for that sort of thing. Jedi use the Force to gain knowledge and for defense. If I were to force crush I would be fighting like a Sith, not a Jedi."
Revan looked up to see her visitor writing on a datapad and speaking to herself, "Jedi don't openly attack and don't use the force for aggressive means. Hmmm… hard to believe the light side is the other side of the one force. I take it you don't use your emotions to fuel the force, correct?"
Revan nodded, "That is correct. The light side requires that you resist your emotions and let the force flow through you."
The pureblood inquired, "Why did you leave the light side? Was it getting too boring because you couldn't use your emotions to fight?
Revan replied,  "To be honest, I don't really know. I suffered a loss of memory, you see. Although, a lot of my memories have been coming back while I have been here, I haven't had the time to sort them out."
"Oh, that's really too bad. Why did you go back to the Jedi?"
" Why do you want to know?"
"Well, a lot of my profs and trainers have said that the light side is evil, weak, a waste of time,  squandering of a gift, a cowardly use of the force, and all that," the pureblood explained, "However, I've read in Jedi history that quite a few Jedi left the dark side and returned to the light. Makes me wonder who really is using the force poorly."
Revan: I see. Well, if you are really that interested, I could show you the light side.
The Sith Warrior turned and shut the door, and then turned back to Revan and nodded. Revan invited her to sit across from her and they both sat in a meditative posture. Revan reached out and touched the Sith warrior's chest and then closed her eyes and they sat meditating on the light side for a couple of minutes.
"So, this is the light side? Wow..."
Revan was again surprised by her visitor. "A Sith being "wowed" by the light side... Sounds like an oxymoron."
"My parents said I am an oxymoron," the pureblood replied. "I'm a Sith who doesn't want power, is not sure she wants to use the dark side, and would much rather draw then go to war.
Revan responded, "Well, I know what it's like to be different. I am far from an orthodox Jedi."
"Well, duh, you became a Sith! Not that that's a bad thing..."
" Do you really believe that?"
The pureblood shook her head, "No; I'm just saying that so I don't get force choked when I get home."
Revan replied, "Where is home for you?"
"Dromund Kaas," the Sith answered. "They only called it that because the planet from hell was taken."
Revan: laughed, "You only say that because you haven't been to Tatooine yet. Sigh, I needed a good laugh... What's your name?"
The Sith held out her hand, "Chalcenia. What's yours?"
Revan took the offered hand and said, "I'm Revan. Pleased to meet you."
Chalcenia grinned, "You're or rather you were Darth Revan?! This day just keeps getting better and better! I heard about a group of Jedi who arrived on Kaas city and then left as Sith... So, why did you turn back?"
Before Revan could answer, a soldier ran in and spoke to Chalcenia. "Apologies for interrupting, my mistress, but it is time for your dinner."
Chalcenia replied, "It's that time already? But Revan and I are having a conversation here. I know… Would you like to join me?"
Revan: Oh, I don't know if I can. I'm kind of a prisoner here.
Chalcenia replied, "I won't let you run off. Besides, I want to learn more about you."
Revan replied, "Why? What's the purpose of learning from me?"
Chalcenia leaned over and whispered to Revan, "I want to learn more about the Jedi before I decide whether or not I want to break from the dark side..."
Revan whispers back,  "Oh, I see... I hope you aren't simply leading me up the garden path. Shall we go to dinner?"

Jedi Temple Courtyard Camera Recording, Coruscant
Bastila steps in front a former Cathar Jedi. "Juhani... Why did you just resign from the Jedi Order?"
Juhani replied, "My love is missing and so far the Jedi have not lifted a finger to help her. She saved the Republic and destroyed Malak! If the Jedi will not do the right thing and help me find her, then I will go myself. "
Bastila shook her head. "But if you leave, how can you hope avoiding falling to the dark side?"
Juhani sighed and replied,  " No one is immune to the dark side, Bastila, regardless of the faction they are a part of. I am still a servant of the light, but the Jedi Order's path is separate from mine."
Bastila replied, " I see there is no talking you out of it... I hope you find her. May the force be with you, my friend. "
Juhani nodded,  "And may the force be with you, Bastila. You and Carth must keep the Republic strong and keep on building in our absence."


  Entry 8- Unusual Dinner
So I had dinner this evening with an unlikely individual- Chalcenia, a member of the True Sith Empire. It was interesting because she had so many questions about the light side... A Sith with a genuine interest in the light side: it sounds like an oxymoron!
Chalcenia noted, "You know, for a bunch of people to condemn fear, the Jedi Masters sure are afraid of any and all emotions. Why is that?"
I responded, "I do not know. Personally, I don't think that emotions are bad. They need to be kept in balance."
Chalcenia said, "Balance? What are emotions just on some scale in the back of our minds?"
I laughed, "No, they aren't. What I meant is that they can't be allowed to rule you."
Chalcenia, "If only the members of the Dark Council could realized. Do Jedi Masters retire?"
Revan, "I don't know... I suppose they do at some point. Why?
Chalcenia smiled and said, "Well, the Sith Empire has the cheapest way to deal with their aging members on the Dark Council."
I was confused, "What way is that?"
Chalcenia nodded, "Easy, you accidentally let them be assassinated before they can get to that stage. It's easy and cheap to deal with the dead!"
Revan, "Ha! I'll put that forward to the Jedi Council sometime... Doubt it would fly, but I can try!"
I've been here too long. Perhaps it is time to talk to Darth Traya about the true Sith and how I can get out of here. I don't think I can go back to the Jedi as they would consider me too much of a liability if I came back with all this dark energy surrounding me. Oh, I've just been called into Traya's chambers. I think that now is the time.

Chalcenia's Personal Log- Dinner with a Former Dark Lord
Well, it seems that the Jedi Order is far from perfect in many ways. That much I could tell from talking with Revan. In many ways the Sith philosophy fills in some of the holes Jedi philosophy leaves out and vice versa. Clearly there is more to the force than either order would have us believe.  No wonder Revan leaned one way and then back the other way.
Revan is quite the fascinating character. She seems to have a more well-rounded understanding of the two sides of the force. I didn't think it was possible to meet someone who stood between the two sides, but life is still full of surprises even after 200 years of living. I must admit that if it weren't for those experiments that made the chance of me turning from the dark side impossible, I would never have met Revan. I suppose I should make her aware of it but not yet. She'll never realize it until we go to a planet that has a real sunrise and sunset.
Sunrise, sunset... I was once able to wield the force 24 hours a day. I could have been one of the best Sith in the galaxy, but some Madoc guy and his goons got to me. I can only remember up until the day they captured me and nothing until the day I was released. I remember looking in horror at myself, thinking the force was forever lost, only to have it come back in a whirl of pain when the sun set. Sigh... and now Madoc keeps chasing after me under different disguises. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't even know who it was that caused me to become this.
Oh, I shouldn't get into this as I don't have to replace another computer. Maybe Revan can better help me control my abilities and emotions? After all, I have no choice but to use the dark side so it's not like I really need to be angry and hateful all the time.
I suppose I should forward my findings on this traitorous Sith to my superiors, but I'm not going to. After all, what are their threats to an immortal? Don't they know I've died 10 times already and the force brought me back every single one of those times? Besides I don't want to become Revan's enemy. No, she looks like she could be a real friend. Her master, Darth Traya, though, seems to not want much more to do with her... If that's the case, then why did she leave her here for a month?
No matter. Revan and I have to get out of here and back into Sith space. There I can protect her both the Jedi who may just toss her in prison and from my parents. Luckily, I've been on my own for a while so they really don't care what I do. Now, I need to come up with a plan to get her out of here.

Heart of Malachor
Darth Traya stood in the centre meditating when her two apprentices approached her, with lust for power in their eyes. She could smell the desire to betray in her nostrils, and she could sense their hatred for her going past the breaking point. No matter, those fools know nothing about betrayal. Sigh, she knew this day would come, but she didn't think it would be so soon... Her apprentices are fools if they think she could be defeated so easily. As Nihilus and Sion closed in on her, she ignited her lightsaber, daring one of them to make the first move.
Immediately she felt the dark side cast her aside into a wall. She felt her bones break and her skull crack a little from the impact. She summed whatever strength she had to summon her lightsaber back, but it was not enough. Why has the force failed me now? My lightsaber was only a couple of centimetres away... Why did it not come when I called?! Then Sion added insult to injury by lifting her by the face and ramming her skull into the wall again. How dare he make a fool of me! How dare he make me suffer this indignity!
Then Sion kneed her in the stomach and threw her to the ground like she was no more than a rag doll. First the light, now the darkness... Why have both sides of the force betrayed me? Those were Traya's thoughts as she felt the Lord of Pain and the Lord of Hunger strip the Lord of Betrayal from her power. In the brief moments she saw a vision of the one Jedi who turned away from the force and learned to live without it before she lost her contact to the force completely. Maybe if I find her I can get my revenge on the Force and my two apprentices...
Sion looked to a Mira Luka standing in the corner, "Remove this useless wretch at once!"